Dear John,
I watch you with her and wish it was me. I was afraid at first that you would hurt me and I still am, I feel like one of those gullible lovers in the movies that think, the man they love might be willing to leave his significant other for. I watch you with her and you smile. I want you to look at me and say you love me out loud for the world to hear. I want you to show me that you love me and not sneak around to do it, I'm not your past lovers, I'm not them at all. You know how much it takes for me to trust and love someone, you know I've been burned before. I really hope your not screwing around with my heart and mind.
I know I sound horrible to other people if they read this, I'm the "secret", the "home wrecker''. But truth I just want to be yours, and never asked to love you. Or for you to love me back. I want you to know that you're the first man that has said he loved me and meant it. or at least I hope you mean it..
I wish I didn't have to watch you with her. I wish it was me you were laughing with and smiling at everyday. But it's not it is her. My heart aches so much when I see you two. It feels like someone rips out my heart and I can't breathe. I wish you knew how much it hurts to watch you love someone else for so long.
If you truly loved me like you say you do, you would find a way to be with me. a way to love me and not behind her back but in front of the world to see. I want you, and only you. Nothing will ever change and I know that deep down but secretly I wish it will.
Maybe one day but truth is your with her, and I'm alone. I'm just your secret...
